When it rains...

Well...I am beginning to eat my mommy words...the words I say to my son, Toby, at least once a day..."You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!" (Can't coin this saying - my son actually learned it at Kids Day Out and taught it to me - he regrets that now.) Anyway - I am officially attempting to take that advice myself, yet at times - failing miserably.
My husband and I have entered a new season with God and the Almighty has yet to quit filling our cups...with blessings, YES, Always, But more so, with TRAGEDY! I am near throwing my hands to the sky and yelling, "My cup runneth over Lord, are you done yet?" I haven't done so yet, but I am tempted everyday!!! Please allow my drama here...

MY MOTHER...was diagnosed years back with Hepatitus C, which she got from a blood transfusion she received when birthing me, which has recently elevated to Cirhosis of the liver - both are uncurable and she has been on experimental chemo-like treatments to put the disease in remission since July in order to be put on a transplant list. We recently received the news that the treatments are not working and she has been completely taken off of any treatment for her condition. Where does that leave us? - at the mercy of God (no better place to be, I might add). The treatments took any quality of life she had left, and she doesn't even have the energy to walk to the bathroom, but that will hopefully return quickly now that she will no longer be on them. We are waiting with faded breath and I am so proud of her and her amazing spirit - she's definately teaching me a few things.
NOW FOR STEVE...My father-in-law had a sudden siezure one night in September while sitting down to eat his dinner like he did every other night. The ambulance came and he was rushed to the hospital, where he was put in an induced coma to stop his siezing. While there, they found a brain tumor which has now been operated on twice. We have become very used to hospital stays and I now know Presby Plano like the back of my hand. He has been in rehad and has progressed amazingly...his speach, his eyesight, and comprehension have been the main obstacles other than the continued siezures. We have a long road ahead of us, so there is no time for discouragement, but to stop and think about how life changed for our entire family one night during dinner in September is overwhelming. It seems surreal at times. We're living with Pam and Steve now, and I can't imagine how Pam would do it without the constant interaction with us and my 2 precious children. Steve is a champ though. He's trucking right along with this rehab deal and I can't say he's enthused about it. How frustrating it must be to relearn how to communicate with the people you love the most. We've gotten really good at Sharades though.
CASEY (pictured here in the very back)...My sister's ex-husband's sister - a sweet little girl born with a heart and lung deformaty of some sort (I never fully understood the details) passed away last week - the week of her 19th birthday. Her little body was tired and the Lord knew she wouldn't make it through a transplant and decided to take her. I was always amazed with Casey and how loving she was - since I am self-declared an awkward hugger. She would have scooped me up and held me in her lap if I had let her. Typing that makes me smile at how accurate those words sound. She really would have. I'll never forgive myself for squashing that sweet little girls hopes and dreams, when I declared as a stupid 17-year old, "We ALL know Santa is NOT real!" Well, needless to say, we ALL did NOT know that!!!! Sweet little Casey is now at the best party in the world (and in good company), but we miss her already.

The least of my worries is my own ailment. I am a month from having given birth to a beautiful baby boy and yet thought I was giving birth all over again last Thursday night when I made my husband take me to the ER. Come to find out, I have a kidney stone!!! Who even knew a 27 year old could get a kidney stone? Evidentally they are common after pregnancy. Needless to say - I am chugging 2 liters of water a day - that's harder than I thought it would be. Poor Jeremy. He's got his hands quite full.
So here we are in a difficult season and I find myself rushing to my quiet time to renew my strength. Recently, I was reminded that the Lord takes my right hand and wispers to me, "Do not fear. I will help you." (Is. 41:13) Praise the Lord!